Well guess what, they were right in some ways. In other ways they have never been more wrong.
There are three areas that I really feel like I have matured and evolved in since being across the pond. They are independence, career and faith.
Independence.
I've always been a social person who prefers to be in the company of others. That hasn't changed. But you know what has? My views in how I want to live my life. When I started college I had my entire life planned out. Seriously. I think that mentality I had stemmed from growing up in a small town. Now don't get me wrong, I will always love my hometown and be forever grateful for the woman that Centralia molded me to be. However, I had entered college with the stereotypical "small town mentality". Through my years at Mizzou I realized that I didn't want most of the same things anymore. Being abroad has shown me that I'm not meant to stay in one place. Being abroad has taught me that I have the ability to be on my own. It's taught me that I'm good at being on my own. My family used to always tease me about being scared to talk to people that I didn't know. Well when you live on your own in another country you don't really have an option. Also after having to call and speak with a United States Embassy you get over that fear pretty quick. The best way to sum up what I am trying to say about how I have grown in my ability to be independent comes from the ridiculous Coach Bennett. I can't believe I'm about to quote this phrase. Nothing infuriated me more in high school than when he would get under my skin by saying this so I would shave a bit more time off my 800. The countless times he has told me "you don't need no man" using this phrase. Or if I ever made a comment about not being able to do something. I am woman, hear me roar. Okay after typing that I realize it still makes my skin crawl. Old habits die hard. But I admit that when something has been difficult this semester, Coach Bennett on his dumb old megaphone rang through my head and I remember that I am capable and I can do anything.
Career.
Lol. How many times have I changed my major while in college? Pretty sure my adviser has put a cap on me. Everybody told me that I would find clarity in what I wanted to do with my life while being abroad. LOL AT ALL OF YOU. I knew that wouldn't happen and I'm still right. However, studying abroad has shown be that there are so many opportunities out there for me along with an entire world. After you see just a fraction of this beautiful place we get to live, how can you ever go back to being satisfied with working 9-5 at an office? The answer here is you can't. And that is what I have realized. I know that I am called to help others. I know that I want to see the world. I know that I'm not meant to be cooped up in one place. I know that to me, college is a joke. The fact that I am paying an absurd amount of money to get a degree so I can sit in a building for 40 hours a week until I retire makes my head want to explode. I don't want that. I want to make a difference. A real difference. How am I supposed to do that? I honestly have no idea. But I am now accepting any and all ideas to the cause.
Faith.
I have grown up as a Christian. Even when I didn't want him, Christ was always there and I knew it. I ended up joining a Christian sorority which saved my life and was the best decision I have ever made. When I went alumnae this past semester to come abroad, I thought I had the whole relationship with Christ thing on lock. I mean, I'd grown a lot through my time in Phi Lamb. However, being abroad has brought all sorts of challenges that I have never had to face before. I haven't been close to Centralia where my home church family is. I'm not at my university surrounded by campus ministries and my sisters in Christ. I'm in a whole new country that is quite different than what I am used to. After the first couple of weeks it was a daily struggle for me to connect with God because I hadn't been to church or any activities where God was the center. I even had a conversation with a man at a clothing store where I was personally verbally attacked for being a Christian. The idea of being attacked because of my faith was something I had never considered, and it was really difficult for me to come to terms with. I was angry and confused why somebody would do such a thing. Then I realized that other people have had it way worse than the minor incident that I experienced. It really made my heart hurt for others. But it also made me grow. It made me realize that faith isn't something that is just there. It's something that I have to put effort into daily. The problem with my college experience so far is that Phi Lamb made faith convenient for me. Coming abroad made me really work for my faith on my own for the first time, and it has made me understand just how much I NEED Christ in my life.
I'm reading this book called "All The Places To Go" about the open doors that God places in our lives. Coming abroad was definitely an open door placed in my life from the Big Guy. It has been scary, but also amazing. A complete mess, but also beautiful. Full of mistakes, but also many breakthroughs. I've met so many people who have changed my life for the better. I still have about six weeks left and I can't wait to see what else I'll experience.
Also, I've almost finished my Jiff peanut butter my mom brought me. If anybody feels like helping a sista out I would be forever in your debt.
Also also, I actually have to do some homework and studying in these upcoming weeks so pray for me that my brain remembers how to actually do work.
Peace and love, dudes.
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