Life, man.

Guys. Lots of really cool things have happened to me in the past two weeks but I've just been so busy so now I'm just going to summarize everything. 

FIRST OF ALL. School is awful. So hard. So busy. I don't have free time anymore.

So the first cool thing I got to do was see JANE GOODALL speak. Yep. Not kidding. She came to Mizzou and it was one of the coolest speakers I have ever voluntarily listened to. She was memorizing. Like, my mind didn't drift once. She is just so inspirational. She knew what she wanted to do as a little girl and stuck to her guns and made her dreams become a reality. At the end of the session she took time for questions. Side note - most of these questions were absolutely ridiculous. I mean, ridiculous. People were legit asking her what they should do with their lives. HOW IN THE WORLD IS SHE SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION?! Ask something worth her time, people. Annnnnyways, one girl asked how she overcame the notion that she couldn't do what she did because she was a girl. The wonderful Jane responded by saying to not pay attention to her gender because it doesn't matter. Being a boy or girl doesn't matter. Just do you. Okay she didn't exactly put it in those exact words, but you're catchin my drift. She's just awesome. 

My favorite quote she spoke during her lecture was, "every single one of us makes a difference every day and it's our choice what kind of difference we make". HOW SERIOUSLY AWESOME AND TRUE IS THAT?! Sure, somebody else has most likely said that in a lecture or a speech and she isn't the first. But when you're absolutely focused in on a person talking and she says that it makes you think. 

Thank you, Jane Goodall, for impacting me by the wonderful words you shared at my school. You're the bomb.com.

So then came along this past weekend. Which was epic.

The Mizzou game was Saturday but we won't talk about it because we lost and that was super depressing. 

ANYWAYS, I went to STL with my brother and our friend Alec around halftime of the Mizzou game. This was for our second annual trip to watch the Cowboys vs Rams. Last year we took an all night road trip down to Dallas, TX to watch and it was fantastic. This year we didn't have to travel quite as far which was pretty cool too.

So we stayed with my family there.

And on Sunday before the game obviously we have to make it a typical Esparza weekend and watch the kids run in a triathlon bright and early. But this was actually really cool because how many people can say that they get to watch their little cousins dominate all the other kids in a triathlon?! My cousins rock. 

Then, Sunday afternoon, I completed the second item on my 9 year bucket list. I was able to stand on the sideline at an NFL game. And it was fantastic. Guys, you don't even understand how huge these men are until they run right by you. Like, holy guacamole. Their biceps were bigger than my waist. My whole body was like one of their legs. They could crush me with their pinky finger. Basically what I'm trying to say is that if I took a tackle from one of them I wouldn't ever get up again. 

We were on the sideline until the game started so we were able to take pictures and watch them warm up. Obviously, we watched the Cowboys. 

AND WE STOOD SO CLOSE TO JERRY JONES. WHAT IS LIFE. 

And then we went to our seats and the Cowboys won so it was a fantastic day. 

Then this week happened and it has been quite awful but it has shown me just how lucky I am to have so many people in my life who care about me. I took my first and hopefully last trip to the ER with my asthma. Apparently some virus really knocked me out and my lungs practically shut down. I know I joke about my asthma quite a bit and play it off like it's no big deal. However, it actually is a bit scary when your medicine isn't helping and you literally can't breathe. I mean, your lungs are kind of a vital organ to survive. Anyways, I have a new lung doctor and she is seriously great and hopefully I'll be back on my feet before the weekend is over! Thank you everybody for your prayers!

And maybe most important of all, SCANDAL CAME BACK LAST NIGHT. Life just got so much better each week.

So besides my lungs being the worst ever, I live a life that pretty much rocks. I love college. I love my friends. I love my family. I love all of the opportunities that God gives me. I'm a lucky gal. 

Being Intentional

So it's September now. 

When I first set up my Happiness Project I decided that I would make September my month to focus on friendships, talking with new people, and trying to quit interrupting others as much.

I chose September because I would be back at school and have plenty of time to focus on my relationships with others. LOL. 

Then my hardest semester of college began where just in the past week I have spent on average 6 hours every day working on homework or studying. So you could say my life is not very fun right now. However, I'm taking the evening off tonight to do things to help my sanity. No joke, I'm down to the last few marbles up in my noggin. 

Coming from a wonderful hometown like Centralia, I was blessed to be involved in many different groups during high school. Being so diverse, it let me become good friends with so many different people who I may not have been otherwise. And in high school you didn't have to be intentional.

Okay, I take that back. I intentionally sprinted to lunch each day to beat all you hooligans to the front of the line. And for your information, I only got stopped once by the principal so I'm super fast AND stealthy. However, it was super awkward because he made me stand with him next to the entrance until everybody was through the line. So that was really dumb and even though he was super cool I'm not sure I'll ever give up that grudge. I take my food seriously. 

ANYWAYS. 

So in high school I never had to be intentional with my friendships. When you spend all day every day with all the people you consider your friends, it just kinda works. You don't have to think about finding time to hang out because you just do. And you talk to them all day every day. 

Well, college is different. It's sad that the majority of the people I once talked to daily who were so important to me are now the people I see and talk to very little. It's not that I wanted to stop being friends, it's that it's just really hard.

And now I have all of these new awesome friends in college. Well, I made these friends and unlike high school, I still don't see them everyday. You actually have to make time for each other. 

So this month I am focusing on prying myself away from studying and spending time with people I care about and love. And also to make new friends.

It's really easy to be intentional when you have the Blackwell gene that allows you to be able to talk to a brick wall. I mean, just yesterday as I was walking across campus I made friends with an elderly man. He was handing out bibles and I had time so I stopped and chatted and he gave me excellent Christian advice. If I decided to not be intentional in that moment when I decided to stop, I would have never heard from that man. And that's kind of sad. 

When it comes to friends, I don't think it will be too difficult to be more intentional. I mean, I enjoy being social and I obviously enjoy to have fun. 

However, my goal for this month is to become better at interacting with individuals who I normally wouldn't and hear what they have to say. Everybody has a story and it's so interesting to hear from all sorts of people. And since I'm attending such a diverse, amazing university, I don't think I'll have a problem with this part of my goal.

Finally, it's September 11th. 

Sometimes in life it's really easy to get caught up in yourself and your own problems. I mean, I've been having a pity party for myself for a solid week because of school. However, sometimes we need to stop and appreciate what others have done for us. 

Without the soldiers who protect us, who knows what our lives would be like. Would I be able to go to Mizzou and get an excellent education? Would I live in fear because I am a Christian? Would I be able to have a say in our government and vote? 

When 9/11 happened I was too young to understand what was going on. I remember having a feeling that something was wrong at school and then once I was home knowing something was wrong after seeing my mom. 

To me, the anniversary of 9/11 is a day to remember all of the lives that were lost and the heroes who willingly stepped up. 

It's also a day to be intentional with friends and family. 

Life can change so quickly and there is no way to know God's plan until it happens. We don't know when our last day together will be. 

So maybe it's silly for me to stress out so much about school when life is so much more important. 

Either way, today I am thankful for my life, friends, family, freedom, faith, happiness, hopefulness, soldiers, fire fighters, volunteers, kindness, and most of all, God. 

I'm lucky to live the life that I do and have the ability to write this silly blog when I have the chance. I'm lucky that I'm able to have my goal for the month be to be more intentional with others when other parts of the world have goals like trying to survive. 

 

What Phi Lamb Means To Me

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN! Football is back and the world is a much better place. Oh, and Phi Lamb is starting.

Sigma Phi Lambda is a sorority that strives to glorify God by providing a source of fellowship for Christian college women who seek to know His person, His will, and His ways. It is a non-denominational organization of sisters where fellowship with our most high God is fostered by growth in unity with one another. Through weekly meetings that include worship, encouragement, fellowship, and accountability. Sigma Phi Lambda is not presently, nor will ever be Pan-Hellenic. 

This is from Facebook. Not sorry for using copy/paste.

My whole life I wanted to go to a school out of state. I never even thought about wanting to attend Mizzou. However, things change and I ended up starting freshman year out at the University that I now call home.

But I didn't think of Mizzou as home until my spring semester of freshman year. Fall semester I really didn't enjoy my time at The Zou. I wanted to be somewhere else and I just wasn't happy. 

THEN I joined Phi Lamb that spring and from then on out Mizzou has been home. Here's why this sorority means so much to me:

1. My relationship with Christ. I have always been involved with my church and I grew up in a Christian home. But I didn't know how to have a personal relationship with Him until I joined Phi Lamb. I have grown so much during the 1.5 years that I have been in this sorority and I wouldn't trade that for any out of state school experience. 

2. Sisterhood. I mean, Phi Lamb is still a classic sorority on many levels. I have met my best friends from college here and I can't imagine never having met them. These girls are cool, funny, inspiring, kind, generous, lovely, and just totally rad. When we're all together there is just so much laughter and fun and it's pretty neat.

3. Cool shirts. Coming from Centralia where our school colors were black and white, my wardrobe was pretty basic. Every tshirt that I owned was either black, white, or the dreaded grey. Then I joined Phi Lamb and I HAVE SO MANY COLORS NOW. And they're pretty. And there are no panther figures on any of them. Not that I don't love my Centralia shirts, but let's be real, they're all the exact same.

4. Service events. Serving others is my passion in life. I just want to help as many people as I can in the short amount of time that God is giving me on this planet. Service is a huge part of Phi Lamb and we serve others in so many different and cool ways. It's really cool to serve with a group of your best friends doing something fun and helpful to society. Like this past spring we took part in Caring for Columbia and some of us picked up trash along the side of a road and we had a blast and I learned how to juggle rocks. Just kidding, I never could figure it out. But hey, I tried my hardest. 

Honestly, I could go on all day about why Phi Lamb is just super neat. However, I have homework to work on because school has started back up and that is just a real bummer. 

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?!

If you're a girl and you attend the wonderful University of Missouri and are curious as to what this cool organization is all about then YOU SHOULD COME TO RECRUITMENT THIS WEEK. Seriously. It's going to be a blast. And we have free snacks. 

Guys. Free food. You never turn down free food. 

Here's our schedule for the week:

Tuesday September 2, 2014 - Friday September 5, 2014 

Tuesday 6:30pm (Eckles Hall 113): Field day with Gutter Sundaes 

Wednesday 6:30pm (Ellis Auditorium): Photo Scavenger Hunt

Thursday 6:30pm (Ellis Auditorium): Progressive Dinner

Friday 6:30pm (Ellis Auditorium): Mock meeting

Questions? Email: sistersforthelord@gmail.com
Website: philambmizzou.wordpress.com

.....yeah I used copy/paste again. Like I would actually be able to remember that schedule. I can't even remember my college address. 

I promise if you come you will have a good time. And coming to a night of recruitment doesn't mean you are signing your life away. You pick us, we don't pick you. So come check us out! We want to meet you!